"Mommy, Shoulders"

Well, well, what have we here? A couple of uninterrupted hours while Yancey is out at a dinner somehow related to fishing and the boys are in bed. Although, it's not totally uninterrupted because I have the monitor 3 inches from my face in case I miss something. You see, the boys have The Cold (the same Cold they have had since September), and they are just getting over The Stomach Bug (their first ever). I just want to say that there is nothing quite like walking into a bedroom at 7:30AM to a stench that can only be described as Decaying Mummy With Bad Breath Who Decided To Poop All Over His Sheets. Times Two. Oh My Sweet Lord. It is in that specific moment when one realizes that she is an adult and can't turn around to say, "Moooommmmm, something stinks!!!"

So, on Monday morning (after taking Thursday and Friday off for a vacation to the beach with our good friends - sans kids) with work clothes on, hair and make-up done and 20 minutes away from a long work day....I stripped 2 cribs, Cloroxed everything in sight and hoped to God I didn't miss anything on bodies with baby wipes or accidentally pick my nose. Jasmine *definitely* picked a good day to be running late. But, thank goodness for a hands-on Dad. Yancey put on his robe and ran around acting like he couldn't hear anything I said, making me yell back at him, "FOSTER HAS POOP IN HIS HAIR - WHAT PART OF THAT DID YOU NOT HEAR???"** The boys started crying and it was on. Have you ever run around throwing crap (ha, literally) into the washer all the while trying to make it a game so your kids don't get "potty issues" later on? No? Well, you are missing out my friends. I only wonder how Yancey's parents got through the weekend with Vomit Boy Yancey and Soon To Be Sick Foster. Clearly, they are pros because I don't recall them recounting any running around, crap throwing or screaming. I could learn from them.

So............the twins are in bed, asleep, symptom free for over 36 hours. Ahhhhhhh. No thanks to Benadryl which apparently jacks Yancey up and makes him run around pulling books off shelves and talking to himself until he comes down enough to hit the sack. Funny to watch, though. (Ooo, is that wrong?)

And, as I was cuddling Foster (the one who doesn't let me cuddle him much but turns into a puddle of syrup when his Dad shows up), he started patting my shoulders. So cute. Little guy, head on my shoulder, patting me. I thought, "Oh, how cute" and whispered sweetly how much I loved him. Even teared up a little. He whispered back, "shoulders.....shoulders....Mommy, shoulders." I thought to myself, WTF? Then I realized, he was singing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes. Even snuggling, the kid has a mind of his own. Thanks, Foster.

The vacation was wonderful and fabulous and englightening. Did you know that people build 20 million dollar houses? For THEMSELVES? Wow. Kiawah Island is so gorgeous in November, but I can damn well bet it would look prettier from the 3rd floor balcony of a $20M house. Who knows someone that knows someone? My people will call them.

**In Yancey's defense, he said I was mumbling.

People Are Weird

As the election results come rolling in, I am thinking less about who will win and more about what I saw at the polls. Not because I don't care who wins but because I have heard more than enough about what will happen when *insert either name here* wins. I have very strong beliefs about the person for whom I voted (and many more about the person for whom I did not), but since I've heard enough, I'm sure you have too.

My point (and I do have one - thanks, Ms. Degeneres, great book by the way) is that I am shocked about people's behavior at the polls. I can't seem to shake it. OK. People feel free to heckle one another in movie theaters (shhhh, sit down, turn that phone off). They get into verbal and physical fights about sports teams (GA/FL anyone? UNC/Duke? Oh God, I hate Duke). They argue during protests - standing face to face, spitting distance even, straddling an imaginary line that neither group will cross. They picket outside buildings. They boo players on their own teams for poor play. They flip people off in traffic (or worse). They argue politics with their best friends over wine-soaked, too-late-served, supposed-to-be-their-one-night-away-from-the-kids dinners. Ummm, maybe that's just me. But you know what they *don't* do? At least where I live?

They DON'T act ugly at the polls. I stood in line for 4 hours* to vote last week, and there were so many people there I couldn't even begin to count them. All ages and races - some there with friends or family (including really little kids) and some there alone. And, I live in a huge city that has seen its share of conflict among its citizens. Not ONE person talked politics that I could hear. Not one argument. Not one discussion of the "issues" that was forged out of the false camaraderie you feel when standing next to someone for 4 hours. The only thing that I saw people get testy about was other people using their electronic devices in unapproved areas - something we were told often not to do. I mean, people TATTLED on each other for that. But no political pressures. People were nice to each other, held each other's place in line and (GASP) let people ahead if they needed to pick up their kids (I actually saw that one).

Don't you think that's just the slightest bit weird? I mean, I know you can't come to the polls armed with fliers or a well-edited speech, but still!? In this election, so personal to so many, not one argument in a line that wrapped around the outside of the Federal Building (not to mention the astounding serpentine line they had working inside)? Seriously, what does that say about us? Do we all feel so respectful by the time we get to the polling place that we just want to do our thing? Is it like after 9/11 when everyone felt closer to his fellow man? Or, are we all just so into our books or Sudoku or whatever that we just want some peace and quiet? Actually, that's me. For real. Four uninterrupted hours reading my book, people watching and planning the next 5 years of my life was heaven. Except, I did no 5-year planning - just reading and watching.

But anyway. I am glad I voted. I was caught off guard by the emotion I felt as I did so and had to take a deep breath as I got to my machine. I realized that while I had stood in line 4 hours to vote, that was a hell of a lot shorter than my grandfather spent fighting in WWII (or that my grandmother spent keeping the home fires burning). It was a hell of a lot safer environment than many "democracies" provide to their voters. And, it is a monumental election - no matter what the outcome. I am proud to be an American, and I am proud and thankful to have the ability to vote. And you know what? No matter who wins, I am determined to live my life. I want to be a good wife. I want to raise kids that will be happy and self sufficient. I want to be true to what I believe. And I will. So, Hail to the Chief and all that. But as for me, I'll be living my life. God Bless America.

*Yes, Yancey made fun of me for voting early in fear of long lines. And by "made fun of" I mean he chastised me for not voting on Election Day. In his mind, that's the day we all vote. That's the day it happens. That's the day. Serves me right that he voted today and waited all of about 30 minutes. Whatever.

What I Wouldn't Give For A Good Inner Arm Pinch. Sort Of.

Wow. Halloween. With twins. Twins who are clueless about the holiday.

I am lucky to live in a neighborhood that goes all out for Halloween. We live right at the triangle intersection of 2 streets, and every year the whole neighborhood gathers there for costumes, food and fun. And wine. The Varsity catered the event (for you non-Atlantans, Google it, it's an institution) and everyone ran around chasing their kids. We always do a little parade..... although this year we had a fire truck leading the parade, and the driver didn't realize that the "parade" was only supposed to go around the little triangle, like, 3 times. God bless him, he took off with sirens blaring, down the street and a buch of people followed until they realized how far away he apparently intended to go! The parade petered out, and we all were soon back milling around and hoping the fireman hadn't driven too far away with no followers. Come to think of it, did he ever come back? Maybe he wasn't leading a parade so much as rushing to a fire? Hmmm.

The boys were adorable in their costumes, but of course, the reason for them went totally over their heads. But that's OK. Foster sat and ate 2 hot dogs - in the bun, like an adult - and thought he was the Mayor of the party. Yancey ran up onto a neighbor's porch and refused to leave. We pried them away from hot dogs and porches and took them in their wagon to 3 houses to Trick or Treat. Baths, bed, candy eaten (by parents). Halloween - CHECK.

But, what I really wanted to tell you about was the fact that Foster has learned the art of the full on, physical tantrum. Going totally stiff then flailing around when picked up. He'll kick and scream and flail and scream ad nauseum. Yancey and I have been with the boys all day today, and between the Foster Flail and the Yancey Annoying Scream, we were done in by about 9:30. Yeah, 9:30 AM. Patience was thin, but we made sure *they* had a full fun day. But still, we were over it all day long.

Then, as they settled in for the night, it hit me. Almost 2 years ago, I was in a hospital watching that Flailer fight for his life. He lay there, no bigger than a 20 oz Coke Zero bottle, doing his damndest to breathe, to swallow, to regulate his own temperature. We couldn't touch him (or his brother, the Annoying Screamer)...we couldn't comfort him....we couldn't do anything but watch. And be amazed. At how he was *determined* to grow and heal and breathe. It struck me that 2 short years ago, I was praying that God allow my sons the ability to live a fairly normal life, but today, I was hoping that they would just calm the hell down. Well HELLO Jenny, those children that wore your ass OUT today were born determined as hell and you had just better thank your lucky stars that that was the case. You may be annoyed or tired or flabbergasted or feeling the need to pinch them on the inner arm where it hurts the most (although you never really would), but you need to settle yourself down and Thank God Above that they have that much fight in them. You know what I really think? I think that God planned this all out knowing Yancey and me from the inside out. He knew which children would come to us and in what way. And, he figured he needed to give us some perspective Up Front to get us through the more trying times to come. Huh. Who would have thought I would have ever described *anything* post-NICU as "more trying." Time heals all wounds I guess.

Happy Day After Halloween!!